Anonymous said: Hi, for future reference, if you’re not gonna post anything for a while can you say something about it? Cause we can see when you’ve been active
I have always done that before, but time got away from me leading up to Thanksgiving – when I was queuing recs – and I honestly overlooked it. I have only been active on Tumblr for extremely short amounts of time this week and that has really only been as a way to take breaks from my personal and professional life at the moment. I finished my internship this week, which was extremely intense at the end as I tried to finalize everything before I left, and each night I have been coming home and preparing a major presentation for the most prestigious conference in my field, which is only about a month away. Plus in my extremely limited free time, I’ve been looking for a full-time position in my field, spending time with my boyfriend (who lives literally over a thousand miles away and I only get to see for short periods of time), and preparing for Christmas with my family.
As you can see, I’ve been a little busy. When I realized that the queued recs had run out earlier this week I very well could have posted about all of that, but I’m still waiting to hear about my revised work schedule which will determine if I’ll even have time to prepare recs for next week or if they’ll just start in time for the Twelve Days of Christmas Event. I didn’t want to post about my absence without having a decisive end date for the radio silence; I didn’t think there was any point to posting before that. Plus my anxiety often makes me want to avoid confrontation and, for some reason, discussing all of this without having a decisive resolution kind of felt like one. I also figured a few days away while I tried to figure all of this out wouldn’t be a big deal.
Perhaps this explanation seems a little defensive, but the last portion of this message kind of feels like a guilt trip and that doesn’t necessarily make me want to start posting again. Maybe it’s just the way that I interpreted its tone and if I’m wrong I apologize, but you have to realize that I have financial, professional, and personal responsibilities that have to come first. This blog was created because I enjoy reading and reccing fics, but all of that takes a significant amount of time to complete. If it becomes a stressful experience, like it has in recent weeks while I was juggling all of this and staying up way later than I should have been to ensure that at least something was being posted, then obviously it takes a lot of the fun out of it. When that happens, it just becomes work and I don’t want something that I thoroughly enjoy to be turned into that.
I never expected that so many people would enjoy the recs that I post and I’m incredibly lucky to have reached as many readers as I have with them. I will try to post consistently and keep you up to date about scheduling conflicts moving forward, but Tumblr is not my life nor is it my priority and I honestly don’t think that it should be. I hope you, along with everyone else, can understand that sometimes the real world can get in the way and make those goals difficult to fulfill.
Malec Fic Library 